Gui picked me up and we drove down to Marignane, the city where my second host family lives. They had a few other people over, so it was kind of a little party. We sat around drinking wine and eating pizza until about two in the morning. It sort of felt like I'd been transplanted into a French version of the show "Friends." Everyone was such a character. There was the restless bachelor, the powerful, stylish group leader, the gayest man you will ever meet, the girl so sweet you love her instantly...
It was a veritable collection of archetypes. I got to be the random American the writers threw in to spice up the story line.
Now for the really interesting part.
Well, Gui has probably the most bizarre living situation I've ever seen. He lives in a tiny suite above what used to be a nightclub owned by his father before he died. The building looks abandoned, and for the most part, it is. The club has been gone for nearly ten years. But anyway, Gui told me this story:
Two nights ago, Gui was dozing in front of the television when he was roused from his half-slumber by a noise downstairs. He went to investigate and heard voices coming from downstairs in the club. Being the go-to guy that he is, Gui grabbed his gun (which he says most people aren't allowed to have, but due to problems with the mafia one encounters when one owns a club, club owners are allowed to have one gun. Gui inherited his father's) and called the police. While he waited for the cops to arrive (they took their sweet time-- around half an hour), the whole building began to smell of pot.
When the cops arrived, they and Gui burst into the club and found two guys, stoned off their asses. They were promptly arrested, and had apparently been stealing stupid stuff (matches, ashtrays, Gui's high school diploma) from the building for weeks. But the story does not end here.
While it was still dark outside, Gui heard another sound, so he again grabbed his gun and booked it downstairs. There was some random guy doing who knows what in the club, so Gui shouted some expletives and death threats. To scare him, Gui fired a couple of warning shots. However, it turns out that the bullets had been in the gun for like ten years, so when he pulled the trigger, the gun only made sad popping noises. The guy still decided to jump through a window feet first and take off running into the night. Gui ran outside in his boxers and tennis shoes and continued to give him a verbal beatdown.
Last night after the party, I stayed over at Gui's house, as Fontvieille is an hour away and it was already 2am, so I got to see the place. Check out Gui's new security system:
We stayed up til 4am watching reruns of Scrubs. French television is more enjoyable, I have to say. There was only one set of commercials per episode, and it was still shorter than the average commercial break.
To my knowledge, no one else tried to break into the nightclub last night, but Gui's security system is so sophisticated that it could be they were simply forced to give up their quest for free match sticks and childhood keepsakes. Part of me was hoping something crazy would happen, because Gui's story seems like a ridiculous movie or something, but alas.
Whatever. If this isn't living, I don't know what is.
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